Yesterday we had our final rehearsal/ costume fitting. I found it somewhat sad, at least for me. I don't know how much longer, or even if, I'll ever dance this ballet on stage again, and it has been great to be shown again just how incredible this ballet is. Being 'inside' of a ballet for so long can glaze your eyes over, making it harder and harder to see what the ballet is like to be seen from the outside. But throughout the filming process I have seen clips of what has been shot already, and it has given me an even deeper appreciation for this ballet. It makes the ballet look exactly how I feel when I'm dancing it.
This month has been grueling. My brain feels fried. My body feels on the brink of total collapse, but I don't want this to end yet. It has been great to experience something so new. To get to watch so many people work with such invested energy and talent on the transformation of this ballet to film has been amazingly humbling. It is a given that any dancer with half a brain loves and respects the gifts that Jerome Robbins left for us, but to have these gifts, and to share them with film directors, editors, camera operators, lighting designers, key grips, gaffers, make-up artists and craft service cooks (hell yeah Chaz), and countless others, is the best aspect of making Opus Jazz the Movie.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I said "yes" to Ellen and Sean, but I would be kicking myself in the ass for the rest of my life if I had said "no".